:: KipperCat :: =^. .^=

:: Monday, May 05, 2003 ::

:: posted by John ::

Where are We Going?
(and why in such a hurry?)

I commute. Two days a week, I drive the fifty-six miles (round trip) and the balance of the week I take the light rail and train. Driving takes me an average of fifty minutes; the light rail/train an average of two hours. So, why am I taking the train when driving is so clearly faster?

Time.

I don’t have a lot and more and more parts of my life seem to be asking for more and more time. My employer wants more, my wife deserves more and I want more for time with my friends and family. Where does it go? To work, work and back home. So, why do I sacrifice two hours in-transit vs. fifty minutes? Because its my time. While I am on the train and light rail, I don’t have to answer the phone, I don’t have to run an errand, I don’t have to be polite to a customer or co-worker. Mostly I read; a luxury that I treasure and now have time to indulge.

When I drive, I am in a nine year old, under-powered pick up truck. My truck and I are a lot alike, really. We both have a lot of miles on us, but we can still get from here to there; just don’t ask us to go to fast. Everyone around me is in a hurry. The speed limit is sixty for most of my route; I normally try to cruise at sixty-five. I might as well be parked. People not only pass me, and quite fast; they always give me “the look”. You know the one; it says “why are you so slow, and why are you in my way?”. It comes from housewives, business people, young, old and truly irrespective of ethnic persuasion, country of origin, or gender. I have been “flipped off” by folks in the latest, luxury model and the older more humble vehicles. And all the while, I cannot help but ask; where are they going in such a hurry? Work?

I don’t know about you, but for me it is just another four letter word; something I do that helps me afford the hobbies I like and keep food on the table and a roof over my head. Years ago, it was interesting and challenging; now it is just “work”. Based on the miniscule sampling of the populace I encounter everyday, I can’t help but feel that a lot of other folks feel the same way. So, where are they going in such a hurry and why are they so anxious to get there? My boss is reconciled to the foreknowledge that I will show up sometime between “early” and fifteen minutes late. He could discipline me, or even fire me; but since I bring many years of experience to the workplace he is tolerant of my less than perfect record on showing up on time. Do all these people that keep racing past me really feel the need to be at work so urgently that not only the speed limit is ignored, but so

It doesn’t go away on the weekend. Soccer practice, T-Ball, ballet, errands; you name it and a bunch of people are racing around trying to get it done. And, I wonder; how much time have you spent with your kids that did not involve running from one practice to game to mall? And, yes, they are still in back of me honking and making really creative gestures (well, not really creative--most pre-date my own now long ago childhood by many years… maybe enthusiastic would be a better description).

What would happen if we just slowed down… a little?

:: Comment by Jim Hart 5/7/2003 1:53 AM ::

What would happen if we just slowed down? That's simple: Someone else would get ahead!

People may not like to work (it's not supposed to be fun, that's why they call it work) but like you, they do it to get the things they need and want. And they are competing with each other for the jobs and for the things those jobs provide. Competing means getting ahead. I think it's called the Rat Race.

What you are actually suggesting is not that everyone just slow down, but that everyone voluntarily reduce their expectations, lower their goals, cut back on their desires, narrow their horizons--that everyone somehow just want or need less so that they would not need to do as much to get it. I don't think that's gonna happen on a broad scale. On an individual basis, it's another matter. People drop out of the race all the time. You see them standing on street corners with cardboard signs, but even a lot of them are just running the race at a different speed.

The best thing to do is run the race at the pace most comfortable for you and let others do the same. If you don't need to get out in front, get out of the way those that think they do. IOW, stay out of the fast lane, get off the freeway and take the side streets. Or ride the light rail and use the time for other things.

:: Update by John Hitz 5/7/2003 8:45 pM ::

Where Are We Going… Reprise

Competition is a good thing; it allows us to “measure” ourselves against others and is often the motivation that pushes beyond our normal expectations. Chasing around, flat out in a combined pursuit of work and a perceived quality of life is quite another. I have no issue with those that chose to rush; rather I use part of my time to reflect on what I see and they don’t. I see a relentless pursuit of things, without too much reflection involved. People buy cars that go over a hundred miles an hour, but cannot be (legally) driven faster the seventy-five anywhere in the United States. They buy boats that sit for months because there is never any time to put them in the water to enjoy them. They farm their kids out to learn teamwork in sports and group activities and then bemoan the fact that they never think for themselves. The cannot understand why their kids do so poorly in school, but are sure that there are enough television sets and/or video games in the house to keep them entertained.

No. I will not delay those that pass me for a moment. My reflections are mostly on what they have chosen to abandon in pursuit of their goals. I do my best to stay out of their way – we each make choices, and I am trying my best to make those choices consciously and of my own volition. Like most human endeavors, there is still a lot of room for improvement.

Finally, rather than say that I feel that those around me should lower their expectations; it would be more accurate to say I feel they should assess what their expectations are and if they are on the right road to get there. My impression is that most people are so busy racing from job to chore to obligation to bed to grave that they rarely slow down long enough to determine just where they are going much less why.

So, rest assured. I will slow no one up if I can help it. And I will be sincere in my hope that they know where they are going and will recognize it when they get there.

:: -- John 5/05/2003 09:12:00 PM [+] ::
...